Driving to Work Hungover

Driving to work sucks as it is. Driving to work hungover? Well, that's like driving to work with a midget in the seat next to you punching you in the dick every 54 seconds. Don't have a dick? Not a problem. The midget brought a cadaver and his sewing kit. It's about as good as if Hitler and Fidel Castro adopted and raise the world's most evil baby. Frankly, it sucks.

Driving to work hungover usually employs the timeless art of making sure you don't throw up. Namely, breathing really deeply and saying to yourself 'DONT THROW UP, DONT THROW UP'. Sometimes you're an asshole and don't listen to yourself and end up on the side of I-95 with a fresh pile of last night's dinner next to your car, but that's really another story.

Driving hungover also makes you drive like even more of an asshole than you usually do. Except, instead of yelling at people for cutting you off, all you can usually manage is a weak 'hrrrrrrrrnnng' before you throw up again. And then, once you FINALLY get to work, you think it's all over. Except, oh wait NOW YOU HAVE TO WORK TOO, ASSHOLE.

TL;DR driving to work sucks.

I'm going to give driving to work hungover an overall rating of: 3 dead puppies out of all of my shattered hopes and dreams.

Addendum: Taking the green line to work hungover is not much better. I mean, you'd think not having to drive would be a big help, but that's because you're stupid and probably still drunk. The green line when sober and feeling great still sucks your soul out and shits down its neck, but when you're already about to die, that process is basically just the KO. On a scale from one to death, I give taking the green line to work while hungover six E line trains in a row, unless you're waiting for an E train, in which case they never, ever come.

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