2014: A Building Year.
Happy New Year everybody!
I realize that it's been a while since the last post, but sometimes life is like that, especially around the holiday season. With the dawning of the new year however, we've returned to the internet, and I for one would love to discuss the next 365 days a bit. We at WNV have big plans, and even bigger dreams for 2014.
Resolutions for 2014
-68% change in the number of cease and desist orders for "sexual misconduct" as defined by the Commonwealth of Massachusetts.
-To stop twerking ironically, and begin twerking from the heart.
-Try not to use the word "blasting" as a suffix (i.e. fingerblasting, assblasting, etc.) in professional settings or in front of children quite so much.
-Become a racist.
-Meet and befriend a person who is different from me on the outside, and in so doing learn that we're all the same on the inside.
-Paradoxically, cling to my racist beliefs and start referring to my new friend as "one of the good ones."
-Lose friend, give up on overt racism, start saying things like "I'm not racist, but..."
-Get back into ninja turtles. 2014 feels like big a ninja turtles year to me for some reason.
Actual Ideas For 2014 Content
-Rip off Deep Thoughts with Jack Handy
-"King of Fuck Mountain"
-Try to make at least 2 posts a week, and adhere to our original 3 post method if we ever clear 2000 hits in a week. (As it is right now, I'm not convinced we aren't still the only ones reading this shit.)
-Replace Pope with an animatronic raccoon who plays the banjo
-Sodomize Rau [carried over from last year's agenda]
Sorry, that went a little off the rails again.
-Warranty Now Vines
-Documentaries about Boston
-something, something penises are God's leftovers.
-Get banjo-playin' animatronic raccoon Pope to fix the formatting on this post because I can't understand the stupid made up bullshit syntax system he's using.
Goals for 2014
Have a great year everybody, we look forward to making you feel kinda dirty for no readily discernible reason in the coming months.