It’s back. It went away, dissolved into the ether, evaporated into memory, until suddenly, horrifyingly, it was back. We thought we were finally safe. Sure, it’d gone away a few times before, but never like this. They let the domain expire this time; the backups were missing, for god’s sake! We thought it was impossible! We let our guard down and became complacent. We let ourselves believe that it was truly, finally over. It was inevitable, I see that now. There was never any real safety, we only imagined it. Eventually, it had to come back. It had to finish what it started. And now here it is, stronger than ever, and there’s nothing we can do to stop it this time. Look long upon this last glorious sunset, for all that follows is darkness.
That’s right, we’re back and ready to fill your various feeds of choice with our own special brand of nonsensical horseshit. After a very brief hiatus - approximately half a decade - we’ve decided that now was the time we’d been waiting for to return to the world. It isn’t that we’ve grown, matured, and have something important to say; it’s that everything else got way worse. Like the old saying goes: in a sea of diarrhea, turds float. As the world teeters on the brink of chaos, our utter idiocy can be the gentle push that sends it over the edge, fulfilling the prophecy. Also, we were bored.
On the modern, social media centered internet, branding is critical. Having a strong, marketable influencer identity is way more important than any actual content. If you don’t have an immediately recognizable avatar or icon, how the hell are your followers and subscribers going to start up “gooshgoosh gang” or whatever the fuck? With this in mind, we sat down, looked in a mirror, and had a good long think about our esteemed, nay, HISTORIC name, Warranty Now Void. It’s been with us since the start of this self-induced lucid nightmare in 2006, but was it time for a change?
No. No it was not. It was time to continue doing exactly what we’ve been doing, unsuccessfully, for 13 years. If you don’t like it…well…honestly, I get that. Maybe if you’re lucky we’ll go back on hiatus soon.