Get To The Big Game


It’s here, it’s finally here! The Super Bowl Big Game, the single greatest event of the year, the only thing that keeps you tethered to this dying earth for another 365 nightmarish days, the proudest American tradition, is back again for the 54th time this Sunday. And this year, as luck would have it, both of your favorite teams are playing: The redacted due to stringent copyright litigation will take on the redacted due to stringent copyright litigation in a showdown that’s sure to be redacted due to stringent copyright litigation! Sure, you could watch on TV with your close friends and family, sharing in an experience with all of them that brings you closer together and enriches all of your lives, but who wants to waste time on that bullshit? You’ve gotta get to the game, at any cost!

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