Burl Ives has cuckolded me this Christmas, and I fear that he may yet cuckold you as well. The Scoundrel, Burl Ives, shows no respect to the sanctity of marriage, nor to the spirit of this, the holiday season. It is with a heavy heart that I must declare here, before God and man, that Burl Ives is down with OPP.
Alternative Titles: “The Imminent Copyright Strike Fiasco,” “Slander!” and “This is Somebody’s Fetish, Huh?”