It’s a weird time out there! Unlike us, some of you may not have had years of experience living in near-total isolation from the rest of society as a whole, so we’ve compiled a list of some of our favorite recipes for all kitchen skill levels. Stop worrying about what’s for dinner, WNV’s got you covered.
Let’s start off with the most important meal of your day: breakfast. French toast is an easy classic that anyone can pull off with only a few basic supplies.
- Beat 1 egg, 1 tsp vanilla, and ½ tsp cinnamon in a shallow dish. Stir in ¼ cup milk.
- Dip a slice of bread in egg mixture, turning to coat both sides evenly.
- Cook dipped bread slices on a lightly greased nonstick griddle or skillet on medium heat until browned on both sides.
- Hmm okay well that one didn’t turn out exactly how I’d hoped, but that’s okay. Sometimes it happens. Anyway, we’ve got plenty more opportunities for the rest of the day.
Lunchtime is here, and if you’re anything like me, a nice juicy burrito goes down great before that afternoon video-meeting.
- Add oil to a pan over medium heat.
- Slice steak into small strips.
- Cook steak strips in pan until lightly browned on all sides. Remove from pan and set aside.
- Okay wait so that… that’s not how that should come out. I guess, okay you know what I don’t really have time to start over so I’ll just eat this can of beans or something. Let’s try again later.
Baking bread might seem unthinkable in this modern age, but it’s so easy that humans have been doing it for millenia! Don’t worry, it’s practically impossible to get this one wrong.
- In a large bowl, dissolve ⅔ cup sugar in 2 cups warm water, then stir in 1 tbsp yeast. Allow to proof until yeast resembles a creamy foam.
- Mix 1 tsp salt and ¼ cup vegetable oil into the yeast. Mix in 6 cups flour one cup at a time.
- Knead dough on a lightly floured surface until smooth. Press the heels of your hands into the dough, pushing forward slightly, this is called “punching” and hel–
Chocolate Chip Cookies
Listen, children do this. Successfully. Anyone can make these. It’s so easy. We’re not even going to make them from scratch. Pre-made dough and everything. It is physically impossible for this to go wrong. Deep breaths.
- Open the package and just dump some clumps onto a baking tray and just shove it right in– no
- No no no no
Alright, fuck you. Fuck all of this. I quit. Eat shit. Here’s a boot.
- Boot in pot
- Fuck you
- Wait wh–
- …when I say “go to hell” I don’t want you to think I’m being flippant, I want you to know that I think you should be subject to eternal torture, in earnest.
- Go to hell.