Well, it’s all over. Everything they warned us about ended up happening. The planet is now a dessicated husk of its former self, governments and society have collapsed into a wasteland roamed by survivors who will do anything to cling to life. Resources are scarce and money is meaningless, value is defined only by utility. Might as well have some fun!
We’ve come up with a few rules to liven up your next pilgrimage across the blasted hellscape a little, or at least numb you to the horrifying reality that surrounds and permeates every physical and emotional aspect of your life on this new Earth.
- Have to hide from another band of roving marauders: take 1 shot
- Find a canteen only to pour sand into your mouth when you try to drink out of it, comically dumping the rest onto your head in dismay: take 1 shot
- One of Amazon’s automated deal enforcement drone mechs crushes your clan-brother’s head like a grape: shotgun a beer
- Car-worshipping weirdos try to steal your blood: take 2 shots
- One of the Trump Tower Wealth Zone Enforcement Army clones of Donald Trump Jr. asks if you're "triggered" as they use their stun batons to clear all poors from the area: take 2 shots
- Accidentally unthaw the last remaining Koch brother from his cryonic sleep when trying to break into his undersea fortress to steal his precious oxygen tanks: first one to speak in anything other than a question takes a shot
- You are observed speaking heresies against the beauty and power of the free market by one of the geosynchronous observation satellites that the billionaires left behind when they departed for Earth 2, and are summarily converted into a 3 meter in diameter sheet of molten glass by orbital ion cannon strike: play never have I ever, loser takes a shot
- Wild dogs have surrounded you, and your only weapon is the jagged metal spear fashioned from what was once some sort of street sign: waterfall
- Discover a hanger full of intact F16 fighter jets, fuel, and armaments. Despite having no training, or even a basic understanding of the technology, use them to blow up John Travolta: slap the bag
- Low fertility rates gives rise to a dictatorial religious fundamentalist group, who enforce a strict caste system and brutal, misogynist reproductive laws: ladies take a drink
- Radioactive mutants raid your stock of canned beans: take 2 shots
- Somebody nukes somebody, but somehow that makes things better? butt chug a glass of moscato
- You have attained or located a stable supply of drinkable water: Congratulations! This is an EPIC win! Chug an entire drink and then tweet @WarrantyNowVoid to let us know (and don't forget to turn on that location)!