Well it’s March again and you know what that means: it’s SAT prep season! Do people take the SATs in March? I don’t know I’m thirty-three fucking years old what do I care. Oh okay, real nice. You know what if you’re gonna be like that about it, maybe you won’t even get to take this fun and edifying quiz actually. It’s only for visitors who want to be here. God, why are you always like this on my big days? You know I’m nervous because I need this post to go well to get my bonus from WNV corporate this year, can’t you just support me this one time?
Anyway, here’s the quiz hope it helps with your SATs or whatever:
1. What do you call a group of crows?
"Wow, that murder just killed a guy!"
Congratulations, you recognized a minor trivial fact that everyone learns when they're barely not a baby anymore. You're off to a stellar start; we're expecting big things from you, person who just got 200 points on the test for successfully writing their own name on it.
2. What do you call a group of writers?
"That paragraph at table six has been quietly debating the Oxford Comma for three hours without ordering anything, please ask them to leave."
To be fair this one is a little more obscure. It's been used on and off since it was first coined by William Shakespeare to describe the writing staff that did all his actual work for him.
3. What do you call a group of clowns?
"You look like a real dipshit right now dude, where's the rest of your college, you fuckin clown?"
Any group of clowns large enough to warrant description should be immediately reported to the authorities. Do not approach the clowns, seek shelter immediately. Consider any left behind to be dead and do not attempt rescue.
4. What do you call a group of Spiders-Man?
"What I wouldn't give to be all caught up in that web of Peter Parkers, I tell you what."
Spider-Man, Spider-Man, does whatever a bunch of guys confused to see each other can: stand around and point at each other while wearing the same clothes.
5. What do you call a group of bois?
"Uggggh don't go to the bar it's swarming with a fuck of bois 'tryna get wit u'. I smell like a fucking Abercrombie store now just for this vodka soda."
While a single boi is typically not much of a threat and can be handled rather easily by anyone with enough practice, the danger increases exponentially as the number of bois in the fuck increases. Even a small number of fuck bois can quickly become overwhelming to even the most experienced among us.
6. What do you call a group of whales?
"Ahoy! Ye captain, thar be a pile of whales reachin' up nigh unto the heavens itself, har!"
It's a very common misconception that a group of whales is called a "pod." This is a belief held by many people across the globe, who it turns out are actually just dumb as all hell and wrong about stuff all the time. Like this, for example.
7. What do you call a group of white men with strong opinions?
"So I was listening to The MindForce Rage Factor last week and the podcast's incessant many-voiced buzzing in my ears has given me some very powerful new ideas about race that I'd like to share with you now."
The opinions themselves don't necessarily have to be bad ones…so long as you're not interested in becoming wildly successful.
8. What do you call a group of bats?
"So Adam West, Michael Keaton, Val Kilmer, George Clooney, Christian Bale, Ben Affleck, and Robert Pattinson walk into a bar–" "Haha, so what it's called a colony now?" "Will you shut up and let me finish? You know what, no it's not, it's called I want a divorce, Jeremy."
Groups of bats will often work together in large numbers to find territory to claim as their own in order to capitalize on the resources of the area for their own benefit, disregarding any other existing residents of the space except in the case of parasitic exploitation, feasting on the blood of those unlucky enough to have already lived there.
9. What do you call a group of Brits?
"I say, what a fine open buffet indeed, but what it seems to be missing is a colony of Her Majesty's finest chaps to see that it is properly managed." "Yes of course, the savages ladling the mashed potatoes are simply unable to make the little volcano the way I like and should therefore be removed and punished posthaste."
Groups of Brits will often work together in large numbers to find territory to claim as their own in order to capitalize on the resources of the area for their own benefit, disregarding any other existing residents of the space except in the case of parasitic exploitation, feasting on the blood of those unlucky enough to have already lived there.
10. What do you call a group of multi-format comedy websites?
Fuck you fuck off!!!