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Boston's 2024 Olympic Events

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The US Olympic Committee has officially named Boston as its host city for the 2024 Summer Olympics bid, and we have worked tirelessly since then to help by compiling a list of events that can be adapted to more closely resemble everyday life in Boston.

It's that time again, a brand new year. With 2014 finally dead and gone, it's time to look forward to the promise of a new and better year, and a new and better website. Or at least, it would be, if we hadn't already fucked up every last one of our resolutions.

Every four years, nations big and small, rich and poor, terrorist-y and non-terrorist-y set aside their real-world differences to instead battle for glory on the pitch. Even the US, despite never having won one, still vies for the coveted cup, and needs our support to help make it happen.

It's been more than a full week since Apple announced the newest versions of its phone and tablet OS, iOS 8, and its desktop and laptop OS, OS X 10.10 Yosemite. We've been using the first available betas non-stop since then, and we're here to show you some of the new features that were overlooked in the keynote demos.

Net Neutrality

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H...hello? Is anybody out there? There's no way to know if you're receiving this, but I've got to try god dammit. The new Net Neutrality laws have already taken effect, and we're trapped in here, trapped with no bandwidth, a fate worse than the fires of hell itself.

The Nintendo Conspiracy

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This game, much as Doom taught my generation to become blood-thirsty, merciless killers, is instilling the idea that drugs such as mushrooms help you get through life, thanks to the pusher known only as "Toad".

Baby Testing

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It is time for science to abandon our subpar standard of clinical testing on animals and enter the golden era of testing exclusively on human babies. WNV's own Admiral Rowe provides an insightful and compelling argument backed with pure scientific fact, or something.

2014 Winter Olympics Update

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The 2014 Winter Olympics are well underway, with the event everyone's been waiting for finally getting started: Unprovoked Invasion, and Russia is off to a commanding lead.

It's been a while since our last post, so we thought we owed you all a bit of an explanation. Things around here have been very busy lately, and we haven't been keeping up with our previously rigorous post regimen. Here's a list of the ten most important things that have been keeping us from you all this time.

Letter to Editor by Vladimir Putin

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Dear Comrades, I am Vladimir Vladimirovich Putin, greatest all-powerful democratic ruler of greatest Mother Russia. It has come to Putin's attention that Homeland has drawn criticism from West. Putin must set record straight.